Who I Am

7 05 2011

It’s funny. In high school, I could define myself with relative ease.  My name was Ally, I was 17 and lived in rural Ontario.  I was going to grow up and be either an engineer or some sort of lab worker/scientist mix, and eventually move back to a small town not unlike the one I was born in.  I liked the show Lost.  Now, only a year later, there are just two things in that list that still ring true:  I like Lost and my name is Ally.  Even if everything else was still true, I would no longer consider it to be sufficient information to define my entire being.  Mostly because, as I’m sure many people have noticed, it’s bloody difficult to define your entire being.


  • I like Lost.  I like a lot of TV, actually, but Lost is up there.  Also Disney movies.
  • I know for a fact this list is not going to be very comprehensive.  I’m going to get bored in approximately four more bullet points, then I’ll move on to something else.
  • There are few things in this world that I can say I truly love.  What I do love, though, I love passionately (in the most innocent manner, please).  ArtSci is one of them.
  • I am an extremely private person.  My opinion about sharing personal information is that if I want you to know, I’ll tell you.  Therefore, it’s pretty safe to assume that this blog will not become a soul-bearing confession corner where all my deepest darkest secrets are divulged.
  • I think I understand the English language differently than other people do.  Sometimes, I’ll write a sentence which sounds perfect to me.  I found just the right adjective to describe exactly what I mean, and it will feel like God (assuming His existence) put me on this earth solely so I could write such a perfect and moving sentence.  Then someone will read it, and be like, “Ally…what the heck is this supposed to mean?  What are you even SAYING?!”  This happens with an alarming frequency.  Ask Alec, Mr. West Civ TA, if you don’t believe me.  He seemed particularly perturbed by my use of the word ‘perforated’.
  • Since coming to university, I’ve turned into a hippie-vegetarian-pinko-commie.  This new perception of me is not helped by the fact that I think I’m going to combine in Peace Studies.  Then I’ll stop shaving, wear long flowy skirts and make my own hemp headbands while singing ‘Kumbaya’ in Cootes’ Paradise.

Me, in 50-odd years

Lies.  So many lies.  But I am politely mocked by various high school friends (and my own father) for my newfound hippie-vegetarian-pinko-commie ways.

But you know what?  I don’t mind so much; I like who I’m turning into.

And I think that’s the more important thing to consider when trying to determine who I am.  It is not about where I came from or what I used to be.  Who I want to be dictates my actions much more than who I think I am at the moment.  I might think I am an awful person right now, and because of that, I will constantly be trying to make myself better, kinder, more patient and more understanding in the future.  A persona of good-naturedness, if you will.  And if one is constantly pretending to be something, do they not eventually become it?

The list found above was written in an attempt to provide insight into who I really am.  Unsurprisingly, quick facts and tidbits of information can never paint an accurate picture of a person.  Nonetheless, these facts are a part of me, and in the quest for self-understanding, you’ve got to start somewhere.  Those are a few things that I know about myself, as of right now.  That list, I’m sure, will grow and change over time.  This does not scare me, however, because I am proud of who I am becoming.  For this moment at least, I like the direction I’m headed.

Note to self:   Be less sappy.

Re: Note to self:  Done.

NEXT WEEK: One thing I wish I was smart enough to understand…




4 responses

7 05 2011

WHAT?! YOU’RE GOING TO BE A hippie-vegetarian-pinko-commie WITH ME?! excitement.

7 05 2011
Irena Papst

can you PLEASE legally change your name to “Ally Chanandler-Bong”
i would pay you at LEAST $1.15 and maybe even a bobby pin or two!!

9 05 2011

I will match Irena’s offer. Of course, I’m assuming you still accept the capitalist construct of “money” and haven’t switched to spirit credits.

17 05 2011
Alec Thomson

To be fair, Ally, 99% of the time you have a superb grasp of the English language. Which means when you *do* make a mistake, I can tease you mercilessly for it.

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